HUGH MACKAY

         The Greatest Card Trick               

CHARACTERS   

WOMAN: Mid to late seventies, prim, proper
MAN: Mid to late seventies, loose, playful


SETTING

A quiet park bench


TIME 

The present


Lights up on a WOMAN sitting on a park bench while reading a book. 

An older MAN of about the same age approaches. He starts to walk past, then stops. He looks at the woman. Comes back. 

MAN: Do you mind?

(WOMAN does not respond.)

MAN: Excuse me.

(WOMAN looks up.)

MAN: Do you mind if I sit here?

(WOMAN shrugs okay . She continues reading. MAN sits. They sit in silence until...)

MAN: Lovely this.

(WOMAN does her best to ignore him.)

MAN: I say. Lovely this. The park. Lovely.

(WOMAN looks around.)

WOMAN: Yes. I guess it is.

(WOMAN goes back to her book.)

MAN: I think coming out here. The trees, the pond. Just about makes my day.

(They sit again in silence.)

MAN: So. You come here often?

(WOMAN stares over with an "Are you kidding me?" look. MAN realizes what he has said.)

MAN: Oh. Hey no. Oh that came out wrong. I just mean...um. Hey can I show you a card trick?

WOMAN: I don’t do card tricks.

MAN: Oh that’s ok. I do.

(MAN pulls out a deck of cards. He shuffles them, then fans the deck.)

MAN: Okay. Pick a card. Any card.

(WOMAN relents and picks a card.)

MAN: Now don't show me. Just memorize it and slide it back into the deck.

(WOMAN looks at the card and slides it back into the deck.)

MAN: Right then. So I shuffle the deck like this.

(MAN shuffles the deck. And with a snap, taps the top card and flips it over.)

MAN: And is this your card?

(WOMAN looks, nods. It’s her card.)

WOMAN: Not bad.

MAN: Alright. Pick another card.

WOMAN: Really. But you just did your trick.

MAN: I just did a trick. Now I will show you another trick.

(WOMAN picks another card.)

MAN: Now I want you to hold on to that for just a minute.

(MAN shuffles the deck.)

MAN: You know I'm not just a magician...and a pretty face.

WOMAN: Oh you mean there's more to you than meets the eye?

MAN: Oh yes. Now put your card on the top of the deck. Yup. I have dreams. Plans.

WOMAN Oh really.

MAN: I intend to become an architect.

(WOMAN laughs.)

MAN: Don't laugh. I'm applying to schools now.

WOMAN: You're teasing. College. You. Now.

MAN: Sure. Why not. I'll start in the fall.

WOMAN: Wait. You're serious. Really? Aren’t you a bit...

MAN: A bit what? Old? Some of us take longer to...mature.

(WOMAN watches him shuffle. MAN flips the top card.)

MAN: Is this your card?

WOMAN (warmer now): It is.

MAN: Now I will show you my greatest trick. But I have to warn you. It might not work.

WOMAN: Your greatest trick is one that you can't do?

MAN: Well the thing is. It is really amazing. It is fantastic. If it works. To be honest I've never actually tried it before. But...anyway. Here goes.

(MAN fans out the deck.)

MAN: Look at the cards and pick one. But don't touch it. Just remember it. Okay. Got it?

(WOMAN nods "yes." The man shuffles the cards.)

MAN: Alright. Here's the deal. This is absolutely the greatest card trick. Ever. So. If it works. And your card is picked. You will let me buy you a cup of coffee.

(WOMAN nods.) 

MAN: Okay. Now the moment of truth.

(MAN fans the cards out and closes his eyes. There is a long, long pause. MAN is concentrating hard. Then. WOMAN reaches over and takes a card.)

MAN: Is that your card?

WOMAN: You dope. Of course it is.

(MAN stands up, then reaches down and takes WOMAN'S hand and helps her up. They continue to hold hands.)

MAN: You took the card.

WOMAN: I always take the card.

MAN: You know. I still get just as nervous now as I did then.

WOMAN: I know.

MAN: I worry that after all these years, you might want to choose a different card.

WOMAN: Darling. I've been picking your card every year for forty-two years. And I will pick your card every year for forty-two more.

(They kiss.)

MAN: It really was my greatest card trick.

WOMAN: Yes it was. 

Lights fade. End of play.   

 

 

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